Uses For Umbrellas

1. Prodding 6 year olds from a distance
2. Prodding 5 year olds from a distance
3. Synchronized, object based dance routine viewed from above/the sky.
4. Mediocre pogo sticks
5. Prodding infants from a distance
6. Door blocker(when expanded)
7A. To Fly
7B. To fall slower
8. Shield/Fencing weapon
9. Weapon of Mass Distraction
10. Keep Dry

The Best Whales

5. Beluga Whales
4. Albino Beluga Whales
3. Baby Beluga Whales
2. Pygmy Whales
1. Baby Albino Spotted Beluga Whales

Bad Places for a First Date

1. The Vatican
2. West Philadelphia
3. Fluntern Cemetery
4. Any Cemetery
5. Your Parent's Cold Cellar
6. The Town of Arkham or The Lost City of R'lyeh
7. 16°46′33″N 3°00′34″W
8. Paris (quit frankly it's overrated)
9. The River Club
10. East-Southeast Berlin